suppose I am alive

suppose I am alive and
suppose it's all an accident and there's no purpose
my mind skits around it
and revels in it while ignoring the question

it's free, no responsibility just a choice whether to enjoy and live, to exist, to subsist,
if I'm lucky enough to have been given that choice

which I am

so what to do with this new found freedom

i don't have to have something written on my tomb stone
or answer a questionnaire on what I have accomplished in my life before I peg it

the answer is nothing, something, it doesn't matter, life is still worthwhile, in the sense I exist and then I won't. and that's ok.

it's all an accident, or something, and here I am and here I won't be.
so I take no more responsibility that I am alive. it wasn't my choice. but I am alive and I will live.

Heidi Allen October 2009

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Oct 23, 2009

Karen Vegar said...

I do think the poets and writers best express the frustration and pointlessness of an individual life.....how all is dust, ash and we return to the earth and the worms. I don't think that's being bleak or disrespectful of the privileges or considerable wonder of life, only being realistic.
Your poem reminds me of some lines I came across from Colum MCann, which he in turn has quoted from another writer:

"All the lives we could live, all the people we will never know, never will be, they are everywhere. That is what the world is."

Oct 24, 2009

Heidi Allen said...

That's a great quote and sums it up beautifully. Life simply Is. It's quite liberating in its simplicity, and I like that.

Oct 25, 2009

It takes a very long time to accept the simplicity of life, and I confess I haven't yet accepted it! It certainly is liberating to accept it.
There's a fine line between accepting, intellectually and emotionally, the simplicity of existence but also being open to striving for more. Striving and acceptance seem to be two concepts which are diametrically opposed. And striving can be very tiring.

dreamingspires posterous

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