Fiona Scott Norman - in the Big Issue
"...the fact is my computer skill-set has all the breadth, scope, and authority of Kanye West's Little book of Manners. I can email, I can write, I can surf. I'm on Facebook, If I'm patient I can download photographs from my camera and even, hold onto your hats, resize the images. And.... that's it. I skitter on the heaving surface of the interweb like a flea on a large, cantering dog.
Which was all well and good until I realised I needed a website. Hello, world of pain. There may be something more challenging and hideous than getting a website together, but it would have to involve a) multiple births/large heads/no anaesthetic; b) organising a royal wedding; or c) being stuck, in a room with Kyle Sandilands while he explains why he shouldn't lose his job at Austereo.
I'm not even trying to build the website. Hell no. There are not enough hours left in the days between now and my eventual demise (from too much sex and absinthe) for me to learn how to do that. I have people for that, and by 'people' I mean long-suffering computer literate friends who are talking me through the options and ramifications of my choices, using soothing tones and as many words of one syllable as they can muster. I'm trying to choose between HTML and Flash as a platform and, I swear, it's like asking a stoat if they prefer Gucci or Prada....
If it weren't for the necessity of clawing my way into the 21st century (given that newspapers and 'old media' are the Tasmanian Tiger of 2009), and promoting a book, a comedy show and my availability of deejaying weddings and batmitzvahs, the whole project would be in the Too Hard Basket. Next to 'Writing the next Harry Potter', 'Beating the world crayfish-eating record of 321 crays in 12 minutes' and Winning Miss Universe."
